Long distance relationships are something which seems to require lot of patience, trust and commitment. People grow distant...classic case of Out of Sight, out of mind!! Wouldn't something similar tend to happen in marriages too?
The idea of long distance marriage brings a lot of doubt and troubles me. I am not considering those couples who after spending a good deal of time together have to stay apart for whatever reason. I am only considering those marriages which happen in spite of knowing that they wouldn't be staying together in the initial phase of marriage not knowing how long could it be.
In a love marriage when partners know they wouldn't be staying together is it an insecurity that is pushing them to get married or is it the society's acceptance they are seeking? I can visualize that it could be frustrating when you wish to meet your partner whatever little time you get, and people around you start looking at you with judgmental eyes. But what about the insecurity that partners may grow apart or cheat and that's why marriage is necessary to prevent from such thing happening. In an instant gratification era, I certainly doubt whether marriage will prevent such slips. It's the test of time and commitment which actually makes one sure that two people are meant for each other. Isn't that which is required to make a marriage actually work over years.
One would argue that if somebody is ready to commit for a long distance marriage he/she is definitely sure of making it work and its good enough to embark on this journey as soon as possible together. The difficulty lies in the word together. People change over time and unless partners don't stay together, there are bound to be nasty surprises. The more time we stay single or forcibly single, our personal space increases and accepting that space suddenly with another human being could be discomforting, to put it mildly. However, much we claim to use digital communication to keep relationships or marriages alive and healthy, the veracity or the actual intent of the communication can't be established and the need for proximity can never be substituted.
There could be an argument that meeting sporadically in a long distance marriage keeps the monotony at bay which creates rifts in marriages at times. But aren't our lives mostly monotonous in general and we find sparks and thrills by living that life simultaneously not by running away from it. Why should it be any different in a marriage in that case? Is it because getting married is a matter of choice and its not forced!! Could be...
Now, those partners whose marriages are arranged. Maybe because the marriage has been decided by relatives and parents, there might be some certainty as to when they might actually start staying together. But this appears to be much more vulnerable situation because partners hardly have any clue what the other person is about and no trust has been developed. False pictures could be portrayed by different people, false expectations can be built up. Image the concoction of all this with the initial confusion and anxiety of spending a whole life with a stranger. Makes it all the more difficult...
World is said to be a global village where distances hardly matter. But we live in the same world which continues to exist when there is an earthquake in a distant place. Starting a journey together by being single and knowing the fact that distances will influence marriage is something which I can't process in my mind and I appreciate all of you out there who are making it work or maybe claiming to make it work...
The idea of long distance marriage brings a lot of doubt and troubles me. I am not considering those couples who after spending a good deal of time together have to stay apart for whatever reason. I am only considering those marriages which happen in spite of knowing that they wouldn't be staying together in the initial phase of marriage not knowing how long could it be.
In a love marriage when partners know they wouldn't be staying together is it an insecurity that is pushing them to get married or is it the society's acceptance they are seeking? I can visualize that it could be frustrating when you wish to meet your partner whatever little time you get, and people around you start looking at you with judgmental eyes. But what about the insecurity that partners may grow apart or cheat and that's why marriage is necessary to prevent from such thing happening. In an instant gratification era, I certainly doubt whether marriage will prevent such slips. It's the test of time and commitment which actually makes one sure that two people are meant for each other. Isn't that which is required to make a marriage actually work over years.
One would argue that if somebody is ready to commit for a long distance marriage he/she is definitely sure of making it work and its good enough to embark on this journey as soon as possible together. The difficulty lies in the word together. People change over time and unless partners don't stay together, there are bound to be nasty surprises. The more time we stay single or forcibly single, our personal space increases and accepting that space suddenly with another human being could be discomforting, to put it mildly. However, much we claim to use digital communication to keep relationships or marriages alive and healthy, the veracity or the actual intent of the communication can't be established and the need for proximity can never be substituted.
There could be an argument that meeting sporadically in a long distance marriage keeps the monotony at bay which creates rifts in marriages at times. But aren't our lives mostly monotonous in general and we find sparks and thrills by living that life simultaneously not by running away from it. Why should it be any different in a marriage in that case? Is it because getting married is a matter of choice and its not forced!! Could be...
Now, those partners whose marriages are arranged. Maybe because the marriage has been decided by relatives and parents, there might be some certainty as to when they might actually start staying together. But this appears to be much more vulnerable situation because partners hardly have any clue what the other person is about and no trust has been developed. False pictures could be portrayed by different people, false expectations can be built up. Image the concoction of all this with the initial confusion and anxiety of spending a whole life with a stranger. Makes it all the more difficult...
World is said to be a global village where distances hardly matter. But we live in the same world which continues to exist when there is an earthquake in a distant place. Starting a journey together by being single and knowing the fact that distances will influence marriage is something which I can't process in my mind and I appreciate all of you out there who are making it work or maybe claiming to make it work...
