Whom do we marry for? Society or ourselves..

Maybe we can't live alone. But what is the probability that the person we are getting married to would be with us till we breathe our last. He or she may die before us or just leave us for some or the other reason. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try. After all every improvement in our lives has happened because some of us kept on trying.

Here comes one of my major issues with the society which doesn't seem to get solved. Maybe it could pertain to only conservative or orthodox societies but it does exist. Why is it a stigma to remarry if a person is a widow/widower or divorcee? He or she can't live alone. The marriage had failed or the partner has died. What's the harm in trying again?

I shouldn't get judgmental. Maybe the husband is a wife-abuser, no woman in her sane mind can live with him. Or the wife is such a nag, doubts her husband's fidelity day in and day out that no simple man can stay with her. There are always some extreme cases. I don't want to get into the issue of loyalty or extra-marital affairs right now. Will write about it or rather explore about it sometime later.

What goes wrong when when old parents want to remarry and their kids make a huge noise out of it. If the kids themselves have married seeking company for the rest of their lives why can't their old parents seek so when maybe they need a stronger support system both physically and emotionally. Kids start protesting and blame their parents of senescence...Strange is our society and its interpretations...

When we come across a divorcee our minds start wondering there was certainly something wrong with him or her that the marriage failed. Don't we fail in exams or tests? We do right and we pass in the next attempt or maybe in the subsequent attempts. If we continuously fail, we realize that its something which we can't do and stop trying. Same could happen in this case and if it can happen to you it can certainly happen to me. So I feel
we should always be open to those broken hearts whose marriages failed and then try understand or pass opinions when we know the whole story.    

My 1st attempt!!

Let me start with a disclaimer. I don't want to offend any of my friends or relatives or readers who are married. Whatever I would write is my own experiences and I would be very grateful if readers would like to give their take on it....Till then all the best to me :)

I am 28-year old single and maybe not the right person to say something good or bad about marriage. But, it seems I just couldn't stop myself from doing it. I would like to explore the reasons why people marry and why some of them pass with flying colors and some fail terribly.

Why do humans marry? Is it because we are social animals and need company at every phase in our life or is it just because its just another social institution which is being followed through time immemorial? If its an institution which everybody is supposed to follow then there wouldn't have been bachelors or spinsters. But then everybody is not the same. Every human is different in his or her own special way and they have their freedom to choose their way of life. However accepting that everybody is different and asserting individual freedom, there are still so many of us out there who rarely get a chance to make their own decisions and have to accept what the society says us to do. I feel its the same with marriage too and wish every individual had more say into this whole process. Maybe some of us are unable to make major decisions in our life and society and family helps them to set some ground rules or guidelines to conduct their lives.

What about the others who actually choose to get married because they want a company for the rest of their lives? Why do we need company? To reduce uncertainty in lives, feeling of security that we are not helpless or alone. Well, this could be the most primitive sort of reasons I could think of .There could be so many other things too. ?

Is it so difficult to live alone? Isn't the only truth in life saying that we were all born alone and we would all die alone. Life moves on without you or me. Then why can't we?